250+ Best Roasts for Fake Friends (Savage & Attitude Lines)

When a fake friend shows their true colors, it’s time to hit back with a roast that’s equal parts hilarious, sharp, and unforgettable!

These 250+ unique roasts are your ultimate arsenal for calling out two-faced behavior, whether it’s ghosting, fake loyalty, or shady vibes.

Perfect for texts, group chats, or casual clapbacks, these funny, witty, and savage burns are safe for all ages and designed to keep the vibe fiery without crossing the line.

From playful jabs to savage zingers, these roasts will leave fake friends speechless while keeping you the star of the convo.

Ready to roast like a pro? Let’s dive into the best roasts for fake friends! Check More Here:- 250+ Savage Roasts for Skinny People (Best, Funny & Playful)

Table of Contents

Best Roasts for Fake Friends

Funny Roasts for Fake Loyalty

Your loyalty’s like a paper towel, one use and it’s trash.
You’re so loyal, you’d sell me out for a free coffee.
Your friendship’s like Wi-Fi, it drops when I need it most.
You’re the MVP of pretending to care, take a bow.
Your loyalty’s so fake, it came with a “made in nowhere” tag.
You’d ghost your own shadow if it asked for a favor.
Your friendship’s like a coupon, it expires way too fast.
You’re so loyal, you’d ditch me for a half-off sale.
Your support’s like a broken chair, looks fine but collapses.
You’re the poster child for “friendship sold separately.”

Witty Roasts for Fake Loyalty

Your loyalty’s a script, and you forgot all your lines.
You’re so loyal, you’d trade me for a trending hashtag.
Your friendship’s a cameo, brief and forgettable.
You’d sell our bond for a guest spot in someone’s story.
Your loyalty’s a plot twist, and it’s a total flop.
You’re the director of a one-man show called Betrayal.
Your friendship’s a trailer, all hype and no substance.
You’d ghost me faster than a bad rom-com sequel.
Your loyalty’s like a knockoff, looks real but falls apart.
You’re scripting a saga called “How to Fake a Friend.”

Savage Roasts for Fake Loyalty

Your loyalty’s so thin, it makes tissue paper look sturdy.
You’d ditch me for a stranger with better Wi-Fi.
Your friendship’s a scam, and I’m not buying it.
You’re so loyal, you’d betray me for pocket lint.
Your support’s like a mirage, gone when I get close.
You’d sell our friendship for a coupon code.
Your loyalty’s a myth, like unicorns or your promises.
You’re the CEO of backstabbing, and business is booming.
Your friendship’s a knockoff, cheap and poorly made.
You’d ghost me for a notification from a random app.

Funny Roasts for Ghosting Friends

You ghosted so hard, I thought you joined a haunted house.
Your disappearing act’s so good, you’re hired for Halloween.
You vanished like my phone battery at 1% life.
You’re so good at ghosting, you deserve a Casper award.
You dipped out faster than my Wi-Fi during a storm.
Your ghost game’s so strong, you’re practically a poltergeist.
You vanished like my snacks during a movie night.
You’re the Houdini of friendship, poof and gone.
You ghosted like you’re auditioning for a horror flick.
Your absence is louder than my alarm clock.

Witty Roasts for Ghosting Friends

Your ghosting’s a plot twist I saw coming a mile away.
You vanished like you’re directing a mystery thriller.
Your disappearing act’s the only thing you commit to.
You ghosted like you’re starring in a no-show sequel.
Your absence is the main character in our friendship.
You’re scripting a drama called “The Great Vanish.”
Your ghost game’s so slick, it’s practically Oscar-worthy.
You dipped out like you’re dodging a plot twist.
Your vanishing act’s the only thing you’ve perfected.
You’re the lead in “How to Ghost Without a Trace.”

Savage Roasts for Ghosting Friends

You ghosted so hard, I checked the missing persons list.
Your absence is the only thing you’re consistent at.
You vanished like you owe me money, oh wait.
Your ghosting’s so pro, you’re haunting my notifications.
You dipped out like our friendship was a free trial.
Your disappearing act’s the only talent you’ve got.
You ghosted like you’re allergic to real friendship.
Your absence is louder than a siren in my inbox.
You vanished like you’re running from accountability.
Your ghost game’s so strong, it’s a full-time career.

Funny Roasts for Two-Faced Behavior

Your face switches faster than my TV channels.
You’re so two-faced, you confuse your own mirror.
Your loyalty flips like a pancake on a hot griddle.
You’re so fake, you make plastic look authentic.
Your two faces must get tired from all that switching.
You’re the king of double standards, crown included.
Your face changes more than my playlist on shuffle.
You’re so two-faced, you’re your own evil twin.
Your vibes flip like a coin, and it’s always tails.
You’re so fake, you’d fool a lie detector.

Witty Roasts for Two-Faced Behavior

Your two faces deserve their own soap opera.
You’re so two-faced, you’re a walking plot twist.
Your loyalty’s a script, and it’s poorly written.
You flip faces faster than a reality show drama.
Your two-faced act’s the only thing you rehearse.
You’re directing a thriller called “Double Standards.”
Your vibes switch like you’re auditioning for a sequel.
You’re so two-faced, you’re your own plot device.
Your loyalty’s a cameo, brief and unconvincing.
You’re scripting a saga of fake smiles and shade.

Savage Roasts for Two-Faced Behavior

Your two faces could star in a betrayal blockbuster.
You’re so two-faced, you make snakes look loyal.
Your loyalty flips faster than a bad stock market.
You’re so fake, you’d fail a truth serum test.
Your two faces are working overtime to fool no one.
You’re the CEO of shade, and it’s a shady business.
Your vibes switch like you’re dodging accountability.
You’re so two-faced, you’re your own worst enemy.
Your loyalty’s a myth, debunked by your actions.
You’re scripting a scam called “friendship,” and I’m out.

Funny Roasts for Flaky Plans

Your plans flake faster than my grandma’s pie crust.
You cancel plans like it’s an Olympic sport.
Your schedule’s so flaky, it’s basically dandruff.
You’re the MVP of “sorry, something came up.”
Your plans vanish like my snacks at a party.
You cancel faster than a bad TV show pilot.
Your schedule’s so unreliable, it needs a disclaimer.
You’re so flaky, you make cereal look committed.
Your plans are like my Wi-Fi, always dropping.
You cancel like you’re auditioning for no-show.

Witty Roasts for Flaky Plans

Your plans are a script, and you’re the no-show lead.
You cancel like you’re directing a flake-out drama.
Your schedule’s a plot twist, and it’s always a miss.
You’re so flaky, you’re the star of “No Plans: The Movie.”
Your cancellations are the only thing you commit to.
You’re scripting a saga called “The Great Flake-Off.”
Your plans vanish like you’re dodging a plot point.
You’re so flaky, you’re the cameo in every cancellation.
Your schedule’s a thriller, and it’s always a no-show.
You cancel like you’re rewriting the art of ditching.

Savage Roasts for Flaky Plans

Your plans flake so hard, they’re a snowstorm.
You cancel like you’re allergic to commitment.
Your schedule’s so flaky, it’s a walking disaster.
You’re the champion of bailing, no medal needed.
Your plans vanish like you’re dodging a subpoena.
You cancel so often, it’s your only personality trait.
Your schedule’s a scam, and I’m not buying it.
You’re so flaky, you make a blizzard look reliable.
Your plans are a myth, like your follow-through.
You cancel like you’re running from responsibility.

Savage Roasts for Attention-Seeking Friends

Your drama’s so loud, it drowns out common sense.
You chase clout like it’s your only life goal.
Your need for attention’s a circus, and you’re the clown.
You’re so extra, you make a soap opera look chill.
Your vibes scream “look at me,” but we’re all blind.
You’re the star of a show that got canceled fast.
Your clout chase is a scam, and nobody’s buying.
You’re so extra, you make a spotlight look dim.
Your drama’s a flop, and the audience left early.
You chase attention like it’s your only talent.

Funny Roasts for Selfish Friends

You’re so selfish, you’d steal the spotlight from a lamp.
Your vibe’s so “me first,” it needs a warning label.
You’d borrow my snacks and call it a team effort.
You’re so selfish, you make a black hole look generous.
Your “friendship” is just you hogging the spotlight.
You’d take the last slice of pizza and call it fair.
Your selfishness is louder than my morning coffee.
You’re so “me first,” you’d cut in line at your own party.
You’d borrow my charger and say it’s community property.
Your ego’s so big, it needs its own zip code.

Savage Roasts for Selfish Friends

Your selfishness makes a vacuum look generous.
You’re so “me first,” you’d steal my shadow’s spotlight.
Your ego’s so big, it blocks out the sun.
You’d take the last lifeboat and call it self-care.
Your vibe’s so selfish, it needs its own contract.
You’re the king of taking, and I’m done giving.
Your selfishness is a scam, and I’m not investing.
You’d hog the air in a room full of fans.
Your “me first” act’s the only thing you perfect.
You’re so selfish, you make a black hole jealous.

Funny Roasts for Fake Support

Your support’s like a paper straw, it falls apart fast.
You cheer so loud, I can hear the crickets.
Your “I got you” is code for “I’m out.”
Your support’s like my Wi-Fi, spotty at best.
You’d hype me up, then ghost like a bad signal.
Your “I’m here for you” needs a terms and conditions.
Your support’s like a flat tire, useless when needed.
You’re so supportive, you’d clap for a blank screen.
Your “I got your back” means you’re already gone.
Your cheers are so fake, they’re made in a lab.

Witty Roasts for Fake Support

Your support’s a script, and you skipped the lines.
You’re so supportive, you’d cheer for a typo.
Your “I got you” is the plot twist nobody believes.
Your hype’s a cameo, brief and unconvincing.
You’re directing a drama called “Fake Cheers.”
Your support’s a trailer, all hype and no follow-through.
You’d clap for me, then exit stage left.
Your “I’m here for you” is a poorly written line.
Your support’s a plot device, and it’s broken.
You’re scripting a saga of empty promises.

Savage Roasts for Fake Support

Your support’s so fake, it’s a knockoff of nothing.
You’re so “there for me,” I checked the void.
Your cheers are a scam, and I’m not subscribing.
Your “I got you” is a lie with no fine print.
You’d hype me up, then vanish like a bad sequel.
Your support’s so weak, it collapses under scrutiny.
You’re the king of fake cheers, crown’s plastic.
Your “I’m here” is a myth, debunked by your absence.
Your support’s a fraud, and I’m calling it out.
You’d clap for me, then bolt like a coward.

Savage Roasts for Gossiping Friends

Your gossip’s so fake, it makes tabloids blush.
You spread rumors like it’s your only talent.
Your tea’s so weak, it’s a scam in a teacup.
You’re the king of gossip, and the crown’s tarnished.
Your rumors are a fraud, and I’m not buying.
You’d spill lies faster than a broken dam.
Your gossip’s so tired, it needs a nap.
You’re scripting a drama, and it’s a total flop.
Your tea’s so fake, it’s basically tap water.
You spread rumors like you’re dodging the truth.

Why These Roasts Shine

Nailing the Funny, Witty, and Savage Tone

Roasts like “Your loyalty’s like a paper towel, one use and it’s trash” (funny), “Your loyalty’s a plot twist, and it’s a total flop” (witty), or “Your loyalty’s so thin, it makes tissue paper look sturdy” (savage) balance humor, sharpness, and style, turning fake friend vibes into a roast fest.

Matching the Context

For a light jab, use “You’re so loyal, you’d sell me out for a free coffee.” For a savage clapback, try “You’d ditch me for a stranger with better Wi-Fi” to match the vibe.

Timing for Maximum Impact

Drop “You ghosted so hard, I thought you joined a haunted house” right after their shady move for laughs, or “You’re so two-faced, you make snakes look loyal” for a savage hit.

Keeping It Engaging

Avoid weak roasts like “You’re fake.” Go for “Your friendship’s like Wi-Fi, it drops when I need it most” or “Your loyalty’s a myth, like unicorns or your promises” to keep it fiery.

Personalizing the Roast

For a playful roast, use “Your plans flake faster than my grandma’s pie crust.” For a close fake friend, try “You’re so two-faced, you’re your own worst enemy” to hit home.

Delivery Tips

In a text, use “You’re so gossipy, you make tabloids look legit” for digital flair. In person, pair “Your loyalty’s a scam, and I’m not buying it” with a playful smirk for impact.

Interaction Context

For a group chat, use “Your gossip’s so spicy, it needs a warning label.” For a one-on-one clapback, try “Your support’s so fake, it’s a knockoff of nothing” to fit the mood.

Evolving Your Roasts

Don’t repeat “You’re not a good friend.” Switch to “You’d ghost your own shadow if it asked for a favor” or “Your selfishness makes a vacuum look generous” to keep it fresh.

Handling Their Response

If they laugh, say “Yo, ready for another roast from the truth vault?” If they get defensive, go “Oh, my roast’s just the trailer, wanna see the full feature?” to keep the banter going.

Avoiding Weak Roasts

Skip flat lines like “You’re mean.” Use “Your loyalty’s like a paper towel, one use and it’s trash” or “Your loyalty’s a myth, like unicorns or your promises” for funny or savage flair.

Teaching Savage Communication

For friends, model “You’re so flaky, you make cereal look committed” to inspire humor. Share “You’re so two-faced, you make snakes look loyal” to encourage bold clapbacks.

When to Keep It Short

For quick roasts, use “Your friendship’s like Wi-Fi, it drops when I need it most” or “Your loyalty’s a myth, like unicorns or your promises.” For more flair, go “Your two faces could star in a betrayal blockbuster” to add punch.

Bonus Content: Extra Roast Ammo

5 Scenarios for Perfect Roasts

Casual Chat with a Fake Friend: Use “Your loyalty’s like a paper towel, one use and it’s trash” for a funny vibe.
Calling Out Ghosting in a Text: Say “You ghosted so hard, I thought you joined a haunted house” for a sharp jab.
Group Chat Clapback: Try “Your gossip’s so spicy, it needs a warning label” for group laughs.
Confronting a Two-Faced Friend: Go “You’re so two-faced, you make snakes look loyal” for a savage hit.
Playful Banter with a Flaky Friend: Use “Your plans flake faster than my grandma’s pie crust” for a light roast.

5 Ways to Elevate Your Roasts

Add Funny Flair: Use “Your loyalty’s like a paper towel, one use and it’s trash” for instant laughs.
Match the Vibe: Light roast? Go “You’re so loyal, you’d sell me out for a free coffee.” Savage? Try “Your loyalty’s a scam, and I’m not buying it.”
Text with Wit: Send “Your two faces could star in a betrayal blockbuster” for digital impact.
Stay Witty or Savage: Pair “Your friendship’s a cameo, brief and forgettable” or “Your selfishness makes a vacuum look generous” with a bold tone.
Be Engaging: Use “Your loyalty’s a myth, like unicorns or your promises” for a memorable zinger.

5 Roasts to Avoid

Too Flat: “You’re fake” lacks punch; use “Your loyalty’s like a paper towel, one use and it’s trash” instead.
Too Vague: “You’re not nice” flops; try “Your loyalty’s a plot twist, and it’s a total flop.”
Too Boring: “You’re bad” bores; go “You’re so two-faced, you make snakes look loyal.”
Too Basic: “You’re shady” stalls; keep it “You ghosted so hard, I thought you joined a haunted house.”
Too Dull: “You’re no good” fizzles; use “Your loyalty’s a myth, like unicorns or your promises.”

5 Follow-Up Lines to Keep It Going

Yo, ready for another roast from the truth vault?
Okay, your turn, got any real friends left?
Nice try, what’s your next fake move?
So, what’s the deal with your shady vibes?
Yo, wanna keep this roast fest rolling?

5 Tips for Crafting Your Own Roasts

Stay Funny: Use “Your loyalty’s like a paper towel, one use and it’s trash” for instant laughs.
Be Witty or Savage: Try “Your loyalty’s a plot twist, and it’s a total flop” or “Your loyalty’s a myth, like unicorns or your promises.”
Keep It Short: Quick roasts like “Your friendship’s like Wi-Fi, it drops when I need it most” hit hard.
Match the Mood: Light roast? Go “You’re so loyal, you’d sell me out for a free coffee.” Savage? Try “You’re so two-faced, you make snakes look loyal.”
Invite Banter: Add “Yo, ready for another roast from the truth vault?” to spark more chat.

Conclusion

From casual texts to group chat clapbacks, these 250+ best roasts for fake friends give you the ultimate tools to call out two-faced vibes with funny, witty, and savage flair. Whether you’re roasting flakiness or ghosting, you’re ready to shine like a pro. Want more witty comeback ideas? Check out our 250+ Clever Responses to “If You Say So” for more engaging inspo!

FAQs

Q. How do I roast a fake friend without being too mean?
Use “Your loyalty’s like a paper towel, one use and it’s trash” for a funny, light jab.
Q. What’s a good savage roast for a two-faced friend?
Try “You’re so two-faced, you make snakes look loyal” for a sharp clapback.
Q. Can these roasts work in group chats?
Yes! Use “Your gossip’s so spicy, it needs a warning label” for a group-friendly zinger.
Q. How do I keep the convo going after a roast?
Follow with “Yo, ready for another roast from the truth vault?” to deepen the banter.
Q. Are these roasts safe for all settings?
Totally! Use “Your friendship’s like Wi-Fi, it drops when I need it most” or “Your loyalty’s a myth, like unicorns or your promises” for fun, inclusive burns.